Humility

Humility is an interesting concept, one I might add, I am not very good at.
When I look at the kids I have pride in what I have done. When I admire my home I acknowledge what we have made of our little space. But today, I am humbled. I woke in the wee hours with tears and a heavy heart, but not one of pain or sadness....I was overwhelmed by the hand of God in my life. I have these 6 amazing children and a husband that loves me more and more and I simply can't fathom all that God has done for me. We have an amazing Restored marriage.....a Miracle, A Hope only imagined that so many spoke against and discouraged me to hope for, God did it. These children have brought me to my knees over and over. Everyone prays for a healthy baby, so did we. Healthy babies weren't always in the plan for us, but we have amazing babies who are becoming more and more healthy everyday, being the best God created them to be, God did it. I am humbled when I see the walk and play and swim and text and pray and, and, and....I am amazed. Today I am humbled that really in spite of myself, God has kept us close during every storm. Today I am humbled that I have six children sleeping in various place in this house soundly with reasonable health and great hope for the future. Today I am humbled that around dark tonight Donnie will walk in and eat dinner with me at the table he bought his momma over 20 years ago. Today I am humbled that our kids will have friends over who choose to spend time with us, not because of our house or our stuff, but because of us. I understand not feeling worthy. Today I am humbled that because of Him I will be found Worthy of Him.
Today my story humbles me.

This Is The Way We Get It Done with a Discount

Here in our family we have
One Village Toymaker employee, Zachary,
One regular babysitter with reasonable rates-Sarah Kay,
Two Mother's Helpers-Martha and Maci (they also moonlight as great organizers of closets drawers, kitchens and bathrooms),
One great Dog Walker-Maggie
And Daddy the great who does Home Remodel and Repair.
I share this because with the exception of Zachary there will be discounts abounding for the kids services (who are earning money for camp and retreats).......
Drum Roll Please
For Donnie and our Home Remodel and Repair Service, because here in the great city of Memphis there has been so much storm damage we want to Pay It Forward by sending a discount your way.
Donnie and I thought it would be a great time to offer a friendly neighborhood discount in light of all the storm damage. We are a homeschool, family run business working at the highest level of integrity and quality. We won't stop until you are pleased. It is also a great time to get your home ready for all the summer fun and guest. If you need roof repairs, window repairs, interior or exterior painting we would be blessed to come and offer you our services with integrity and excellent work. We are also busy scheduling new decks and great playhouses to spend the summer on and in.
Pike Family Economic Stimulus Package
Until July 31 we are offering a 10% discount on all jobs under $500, 15% for jobs $501-$1000 and 20% for all jobs over $1000 dollars. Materials are not included in this discount The work that is scheduled does NOT have to be storm related. It is our desire to serve our friends and family with not only a value but quality work. We come with excellent references and your satisfaction is what we count on to put food on the table--


We hope that in the coming weeks and months you will think of our family when thinking about home repair and spread the word. If you have a business you would like us to make referrals for feel free to let me know.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

The Knot In My Throat and Other Things I Am More Aware Of

I walked out of painful chaos and into legalism of the religious sort, following that up with more questions than answers about life, lies, hopes, and heroes. I found answers to questions I didn't think to ask and asked questions I didn't dare to mutter before. While in the middle of all of these moments I saw that I had become an adult with no great definition of self, but knowing all the while that I would pass up religion for relationship and would pass up relationship with others to protect my heart and to find boundaries in my heart that hadn't previously existed. I found relationship in a community of believers that I never expected and when asked boldly "How, Why, and Where?" I can only answer, "Because Jesus is there and there is where I have been found again." The knot in my throat, the tears always on the edge are tears of grief. The knot is all I had hoped for what could have been when I started this journey at a place not so far away with people that I believed would run the race along side, people that ended up running a different leg of the race than us. I have heard these old voices, listened to the memories, and followed my heart to know....the pain that was left by the loss is still there. It is okay that today I don't know exactly who I am or where I am headed. I have relationship, with my Lord and with myself.....all the rest is a bonus. I want to know more, to see more, to share more but today I will just be more, quietly.


These are my original thoughts posted with all sorts of funnies, hurts, happies
at www.himhimthem.blogspot.com please honor that they are owned by myself (Suzanne Pike) and don't share them without attributing where they are found and who they came from in the material you share.

Family Like Never Before in Our Home

In my backyard it is not glamorous , we have 6 bikes.....4 need tubes replaced but neither time nor cash have allowed that, the mosquitoes are vicious, the shed needs painting, you can find some stray Popsicle wrappers, and it is muddy (not just Memphis rain, also kids leaving the hose on to play in the mud with). This is my home. In our front yard are 2 big city garbage cans ( we are a big family), hostas, lambs ear, a pickup truck, a 12 passenger van (that needs the tags replaced NOW), my moms Taurus and probably some of the neighbor dog's dinner. This is my home. In my kids rooms are shared spaces, dirty laundry, beads in the carpet, i-pods, TV with no cable and possibly a few living fish in a tank. In our living rooms (kitchen, school room, living room, dining room)are kids clothes, books, papers, cat hair, unfinished old wood floors, old carpet, one TV with Direct TV, dog hair, the yummy smell of leftovers, comfortable couches and two computers. This is my home. We don't live in the nicest neighborhood, but I have some of the nicest neighbors, I would bet on it. Often money runs out before month and groceries before grocery day and patience before fun is had....but love never runs out. Coming to our home is like camping, hot, sticky, pool to cool off in, never sure what we will eat next, kids running, momma sometimes yelling and Daddy coming to the camp site late because he had to finish work before the weekend get away.
We don't live like most of the people we know, sometimes this is difficult, sometimes it brings great joy and it is always an adventure with blessings and memories that I didn't expect.
These are the little details of the big picture, when you walk into our home it looks like a big mess in our little house.....but our lives are full of little moments, Big ideas, big messes, lots of laundry, questions waiting to be answered, 6 kids, a grandmother,one working daddy and one busy quick to correct momma that needs to play nice a little more often.....this is our Home, The Pike Home......Family like never Before.

Mothers Day Musings with Busy Days, Big Nights, Growing Older and Loving Every Minute Of It

Zachary and Holly MHEA PROM 2009

DJ at 5 years old and Mommy taking a long look at my last baby

Sarah and her friends at the big Girls Night Out

Sarah's Friends greeting her on the couch durning the Sunday School Hour on her sick birthday

Sarah' being surprised by the friends

In the last 4 months there has been so much going on that I can't even possible describe the roller coaster of emotions that have gone with the events. In February my oldest daughter turned 13, in March my youngest son turned 5, and last week my oldest went to the MHEA Prom.

On Sarah's 13th birthday she was very sick and so the party came to her that day....our sweet Senior Girls at Highland youth group and her fellow 7th grade friends all showed up at our home to sing and bring her some nice Starbucks Hot Cocoa....a priceless morning where I was sure once again that no one has ever felt as loved as our family feels by our amazing Highland Family.

She followed that party up a week later by having a girls night out party at a local hotel where the girls got to swim in February and dance all night long. One month later on March 25th, I went to officially not having anymore pre-school age children in my family when our youngest and second son turned 5 years old. For his birthday on a very muddy morning I bought him a Big Wheels his daddy and big brother put the toy together in the parking lot and I brought home Blue and Gray donuts (March Madness spirit for our home team the U of M Tigers) there was fun had by all. That was a bittersweet day where I found myself thinking about when the children were all so young and at 5 years old Zachary, our oldest was the "big kid" with 3 kids younger than him and that for 15 years I had a small child, pregnant and/or nursing....that season is over and it has ushered in a new season........

Just last week Zachary our oldest sat in our bathroom while I cleaned up the hair on his neck and we talked about corsages, for the impending dance. Now that he is almost 16 our family has found some firm footing in the land of adolescence and I LOVE IT.

There are ups and downs, tears and prayers, but I am watching this child who will be a man soon become more and more self assured and at peace with himself and his place in the world every day.

This isn't just a shameless plug for our children (it is that), but it is also me wanting to take a step back and recognize this unique place that I am in life. The mother of sons, daughters, almost grown and just beginning to really grow. I have some last chances to hold the hearts of our babies and some first chances to really see a glimpse of who some of these children are growing to be. Today I will commit to listen more to stories about new birthday toys and the difficult stories of broken hearts and questions about the world we are in right now. I will recognize tears and pains of growing young adults and not take it personal. I will kiss hurt knees and teach new spelling list. I will watch as we struggle through college classes and teach my youngest child to read. I will stand amazed at the story of it all, this is my story today, changing and growing up with my babies....

In Response to the Prayer....The Lord of My Dreams at the Root of a Selfish Prayer

This morning in our Bible Class...Sunday School Class, we spoke about the passages in Exodus that speak about knowing God. I said in my thoughts out loud in the same class that I now find myself praying "How do you want me to know You in this.....___________" fill in the blank.
Because I have seen in my on life that God is not as concerned with my finances, health, or happiness but more about how I know Him in all of these challenges and blessings. I am hard headed I learn more in a challenge so my prayer has been "How may I know you....where are you at....what do you want me to get from this?" and less "please take it away, heal them now, pay this bill." These prayers are not unselfish, I have come to see that God usually does the latter in some way or another, but that just asking for Him to show me His heart in these matters is much more comforting. I am selfish and I want to be comfortable, I like to know that God is near, since I have seen that trouble isn't going to go away and health is always a challenge....I just want Him near. That is not humble that is selfish.
I cry through these prayers, but I have learned that through these things are the most blessing...so really it is selfish of me...very selfish, because at the bottom of it all is I don't want to miss a blessing and when I learn through these painful things, I am then blessed to see God's hand and well, just WOW. It is all about Him, because I am more selfish than anyone, wanting it all for myself to be good and pleasant, I have only been able to see those things through the pain...and when I taste the pleasantness....it is sweet like honey and I long for more so I pray "Lord, put the things in my life which will draw me closer to you and take the things from my life which separate me from you."( This is a quoted prayer of a friend J.P.) one more time through tears....just to be near Him again....selfish I just want His hand for myself.
I am not humble, I ask God for an email or a fax or a finger of fire," just show me what I need to get from this ___________(fill in the blank), so I can be near to You." I am dependent and needy and so much so that only God, Jehovah, Lord Almighty can meet my needs.
Not praying for health, not praying for wealth isn't humble, it is the root of all selfishness....it is give me more of YOU....and I this other stuff won't be so big. We don't mind so much going through nearly anything if it is with the significant other of our dreams....That is what He is to me. I just want to be near to Him.

The Being Not Just the Doings of Me

I do not write because I don't have anything to say, it is because I have so much to say and can not seem to sort it all out. I think in essay, long essays, short essay, joke writing, tear jerkers, I think in writing style. I have so much I want to get out, that is part of my story. I want to talk about being a mother. I need to talk about being a wife. I don't know how to talk about being a daughter. I miss talking about being a grand daughter, when I am not near home. I am not sure how to talk about being an employee. So many different spaces in my life that I can speak on and for the life of me, I can't get it down. I am all of these things and more.
Today I will sit in this space, this time in my life where I can be all of these roles and understand that they are all part of me.
The big picture me is not just my doings of these roles, but my being in this time. Today I will try more being. I can't do less, but I can be more aware of this time in my life and who I am while I move with an even pace through the day. I will breathe more, I will take longer breaths, I will speak less, I will move slower while doing, so that I have longer moments to take hold of who I am. Comprehending this is huge, monumental....I am not sure I ever will, but today, I will endeavor to begin breathing in the being and not just the doing of my identity.
This is my story today.